To dear daddy

Dear  daddy,

I know it is pointless for me to write you this. I am writing you this letter just for my own satisfaction but in reality it is pointless and useless. You can't even read this. 

I miss you daddy. You have been gone for 2 years plus and it is still fresh in my mind. I still feel like crying whenever I am thinking about how it happen that day. When I look at your photo I feel my eyes stinging with tears. It is hard. how long will it take for me to get over this? How many more years will it take to make it better?

When you are alive I took you for granted. I am not a good daughter to you. I never spend time and take you for holidays or just take you out for a walk. I am not filial piety. I am a failure. I am not proud of myself.

Whenever there are any problem I faced I will go to you. But this 2 years whenever I have any problem I can't talk to you anymore. You can't tell me what to do anymore. I don't know what to do when I faced with problem. I don't know who to turn to for advise. No one can make me feel better. I can only talk to you in my heart but I can't get any reply.

It is to late to realise all this. I should have done all I can for you but I did not. I can't do anything now for you as it is too late.

Regret is what I feel. This regret is for life and nothing can be done to it.

Life is not like programming. If a then else b. There is no rewind or going back. What is done is done. Regret about your career or life choice you can change your way of life or your career. But regretting what you did not do for someone who died you can't replace or go back and redo. My heart felt bad. Real bad. But I can't do anything but live with this regret forever.

I wish there is a parallel world. If there is then I wish to travel to the parallel world and find you and redo everything. Just a wish......

Daddy, I love you and miss you dearly.

Please be my guardian angel and look after me from above.

Love and miss you much,

Ida